Managing Our Circumstances

photo by Camil Tulcan (Creative Commons)
photo by Camil Tulcan (Creative Commons)

People under severe physical or emotional stress or with poor social support are more vulnerable to injury, mental imbalance and physical disorders. Caring for those of us who have more to deal with is part of a healthy community. However, many people would agree that true community is difficult to find these days.

So what can we do to make it better when we are managing our circumstances? First take care of yourself, no matter what your state of affairs. Often we are responsible for our own circumstances and sometimes life just throws us a curve or unfair problems to deal with. It’s not fair, and it is what it is.

Acceptance is a major component in moving forward. However, it’s extremely important to honour all your feelings so you can. So make an appointment to acknowledge and experience your feelings. Designate a time and space where you won’t be interrupted. Play music and look at pictures or any other activity that helps get you into the state you need to be in to feel what you need to feel.

Feel your feelings completely, to their fullest and in any way they need to be expressed that is healthy and doesn’t hurt yourself or others. When painful feelings are felt and honoured through activities like writing, drawing, dancing or speaking to self through video or recorder – a release happens, a trust builds and disorders dissolve.

Once you have felt everything you need to feel, then ask the question “what is the joy and opportunity in this situation” and write down everything that comes to you – no matter how far-fetched, silly or minor they may seem. And don’t feel guilty for finding diamonds in disaster.

This practice is so releasing and freeing that it’s impossible to put a dollar value on it. In fact it costs nothing but your time and willingness to extricate yourself in a healthy way from unresolved pain.

When you practice this regimen often enough it becomes habitual and then a natural way to run your life becomes a routine. The benefits you glean build an internal trust with yourself, functioning in a much healthier way for your mind and body, avoiding countless disorders and diseases and your life feels full and honest. You also get to sleep pretty soundly.

This approach to your problems is far more effective than asking the notorious question “why me?” or engaging in a myriad of mood altering devices or activities. Remember your life’s success is directly related to the quality of the questions you ask and the willingness you have to direct yourself no matter what, through all events in the directions you need and wish to go.

– Sharon Danley